I bear in mind an occasion as a younger woman once I stubbornly refused to do what I knew was proper as a result of I needed issues to go my means, and I paid the value. My household was going to go to the Orange County Fair and I used to be SO excited! I grew up on the seaside the place I not often wore sneakers if I didn’t should. I insisted that I used to be going to the honest barefooted, even supposing it was all asphalt and HOT! Of course, Mom mentioned no means. I mentioned sure means. The upshot was that Mom instructed me that if I didn’t put my sneakers on, they’d go with out me…they usually did. I missed the honest as a result of I used to be cussed and wasn’t prepared to vary my methods. I really feel as if that younger woman has returned.
Yesterday was a very powerful day. I ate some stuff that I do know isn’t good for me as a result of I needed it, dammit! The consequence was a whopping 315 on my meter practically three hours after the meal. Wow. I’ve NEVER seen a quantity that prime on my meter. Never. I used to be so appalled and shocked and scared. Then and there I made a decision to name and make that appointment with a specialist 35 miles away; an precise specialist in diabetes. She would have the ability to assist me straighten this mess out! I referred to as and was instructed that I needed to have a referral and that the soonest I might see mentioned physician was January. Ugh. The the rest of the afternoon was crammed with tears, regret, self-loathing and pity. Pretty ugly. I felt so sorry for myself and railed in opposition to this rattling illness. After I settled down a bit, I spotted that I used to be going by way of levels of diabetes acceptance, similar to levels of grief. Really? I used to be coping with acceptance of a illness that I’ve had for 12 years? It was eye-opening.
When it involves diabetes, I’ve been fairly fortunate. I’ve been in a position to alter my life-style and meds slowly and hold my numbers principally in line. I might have durations of feeling disadvantaged however I used to be pleased with the modifications I had made and ultimately didn’t miss a number of the meals I used to crave (besides potato chips). Things had been rocking alongside fairly okay and I didn’t have to consider my diabetes a lot. In reality, I wrote that very factor again in November. In that put up I additionally mentioned: “Someday my blood sugars could go south and my current plan may not work as well. Maybe. If that happens I feel like I’m prepared to deal with it. I feel like I can make adjustments because I already have. I’ve already proven to myself that I can do this.” Reading these phrases now, solely 9 months later, kicked me out of my funk and gave me a little bit hope.
My physician desires to “wait and see” and is reluctant to make med modifications till issues worsen. (ugh). I can’t simply go see the specialist like I needed and repair this difficulty. That barefoot little woman desires issues her means and it ain’t gonna occur proper now. It’s time to place my sneakers on and get on with it.
I had change into too complacent about my diabetes. I let different points get in entrance of it and didn’t adequately listen. Even when issues are going properly with diabetes, it’s necessary to look at that you’re following your plan. I wasn’t. I slowly fell again in to an consuming sample that made it too simple to eat what I shouldn’t. I used to be considerably in denial and thought I used to be regular. Ha! I’m by no means gonna be regular and can at all times, at all times have to concentrate to what I’m consuming. Sad however true.
My physique has determined that it’s going to vary the sport and I would like to concentrate. I began yesterday with a gradual, quick stroll on the treadmill to assist mitigate that rattling excessive quantity. I ate fairly at dinner (my fantastic shrimp stir fry). Today, I’m going to attempt to get again on observe. I’ll eat decrease carb, not extremely processed meals. I’ll get again to common train. I’ll bake low carb goodies to fulfill me once I want a deal with. I’ll do that, sneakers or not, as a result of I’m all growed up now and might make the selections which can be greatest for me. Decisions that may hopefully enable me to dwell an extended, more healthy life. I’m not going to attend till October for another person to repair this. I’m going to do no matter I can by myself now and demand on a medicine change in October, as a result of high quality of life is necessary. I deserve that. I nonetheless hate to put on sneakers however I don’t need to miss the honest.
